


Acceptance

by deedeeinfj



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 17:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deedeeinfj/pseuds/deedeeinfj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus searches Hogwarts for Sirius during PoA</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> For therealmarajade. Originally published on Livejournal, 2003.

Remus lay the folded map on his desk, still staring blankly at the doorway where Harry had left. Peter Pettigrew? It was impossible, of course. The map was old, and undoubtedly it hadn't been safe in Filch's office for so many years. He sighed, walked around to his chair, and sank heavily into it. Even so, he mused, perhaps the map might help them find Sirius. One of the map's folds wavered in a light, cool draft, and Remus sat in blank silence for some minutes before he reached out and picked it up again.  
  
"I solemnly swear..." He swallowed. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."  
  
The still-familiar words and lines spread out on the parchment before him, and he had a fleeting sensation of James, Sirius, and Peter behind him, looking over his shoulder and laughing.  _Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_. He saw his name hovering in his office and smiled in spite of himself. His eyes wandered over the map and watched as Harry Potter stepped into Gryffindor Tower. Severus Snape was back in his office, and Filch was wandering on the far side of the castle.  
  
Then his eyes fell on Peter Pettigrew just disappearing off the edge of the map, and he forced himself to remember that nothing on this old parchment could be trusted. Snape might be prowling still, Filch might be just outside the door, and Sirius might not really be in the passage hidden by the Witch - as the map now claimed him to be.  
  
But if he didn't look...  
  
He folded the map, took up his wand, and made his way to the Witch with quiet, hurried steps. Once beside her, he opened the map again and saw that it still showed Sirius, only steps away from him in the passage. After a moment's hesitation, he put the map in his pocket, whispered the spell, and went into the passage. He crouched down and lit his wand, trying to find anything in the darkness. Something moved just ahead of his wand's light, and then in the closed-in quiet, he heard a dog panting.  
  
 _Oh gods_. "Sirius Black?" he said hoarsely. There was nothing, and even the panting had stopped. "Padfoot?"  
  
Out of the darkness ahead came two pale eyes, and Remus felt a stab of fear. Naturally, in his heroic attempt to catch Sirius Black, he hadn't considered that he was probably now as good as dead. Unless Peter...   
  
The dog approached and gave a whimper, pushing its head into Remus' shaking hand. A second later, Remus' fingers were buried in matted hair, and Sirius Black, traitor and murderer, was kneeling in front of him.   
  
What could he possibly say? Every word seemed to escape him. And why hadn't he snatched his hand away from Sirius' hair in disgust? It was in that moment, which seemed like hours in the dim, wand-lit silence, that he knew Sirius was innocent. The map was working properly - of course it was.   
  
"Sirius," he murmured, somehow finding his voice. "Peter is alive." It was a statement because he knew it was true, a question because he wanted, needed, to hear someone else say it.  
  
Sirius looked up, and his grey eyes flashed. "Yes."  
  
Remus sank down beside Sirius, laying the map between them. "I saw him tonight. I saw you." Even as he spoke, his mind could think of nothing besides the endless refrain of  _oh gods_. Twelve years. In the violent clash of soaring elation and crushing sadness, he didn't know what to say or do. He should tell Dumbledore, but he knew himself too well to think that he actually would.  
  
"I'm innocent, Remus," said the harsh, unused voice.   
  
"I know."  
  
Sirius' dark head fell on his shoulder, and on his neck Remus felt a hand he had thought never to feel again. All his thoughts now seemed futile and meaningless in light of the truth, and so he abandoned them. He lifted Sirius' head, leaned closer, and closed the space between them before his brain could tell him not to. Perhaps in this mouth, on this bitter breath, he could seek out what he - what they - had lost.   
  
He clutched at Sirius' ragged shirt and closed his fingers into fists, exploring the never-forgotten tongue and teeth and lips. He couldn't tell if Sirius moaned because of pleasure or years of pain uncoiling. Even the sounds escaping his own mouth confused him, and they probably weren't one thing or the other.  _Passion_ , he thought. Passion encompassed both joy and sorrow, and he poured all his passion into Sirius, just as he felt the tide of feeling pushed back into himself from Sirius' mouth and hands.  
  
"Remus... Remus..." mumbled Sirius in a hoarse refrain, his voice gradually fading as light fell into the passage from some unknown source.  
  
It was only daylight, and Remus lifted his head from his desk, wincing at his body's reproaches for a night spent in his chair. His eyes fell on the unopened map, and he shut it in his desk drawer, trading a dream's minutes of passion for reality's years of acceptance.


End file.
